How Act 2

How Act  2
How to Save the World

Act 2, Scene 1



The Time: Five Years Later. 
The Setting: On the campus of the University of Alberta, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.  Inside the Students Union Building, where, set up on stage, are two information tables.  At front stage left, there is a table with a sign, “Feminist CampusAssociation” with the president, Susan and her assistant Katherine, staffing the information table.  At centre stage is the information table with the sign “Campus Christian Association” staffed by Paul and Linda (our history experts) and Thomas (our science guy) and Jenny (our lady medical student).  The audience can hear the staffers of only one table speaking at a time.  As the staffers from one table speak the lines of the play, the staffers of the other table pretend to talk and carry out their usual business. 


Narrator reads stage right, front.
Green and gold are the colours of the University of Alberta sports teams.  They are also the colours of autumn, throu
ghout Edmonton and area.  In the fall, a splendor of green and gold trees and grasslands, paints the river valleys, parks and farmlands.  All under an autumn dark blue sky of white clouds, streaked with grey. With all the colours mixing and changing impercetively to the lightest blue, as you look towards the horizon. 

Here on the campus of the University of Alberta, looking north from the corner of 114 street and 84 avenue, you can see, on the left, the “Butterdome”.  The Butterdome is a large rectangular building that contains an indoor track and field centre and tennis courts.  The Butterdome gets its name because It is covered completely around,  from the ground to the roof, with big, windowless, glossy, yellow panels! ....  You can’t miss it...   Just north of the Butterdome is the Students Union building that houses some great coffee shops, cafeterias and the main university book store.

It’s fall semester registration week at the University of Alberta.  And a number of
 the campus clubs have information tables set up in the Students Union building, to pass out brochures, to new and returning students.

It’s five years later.  Our play continues as our heroine, Mary Stewart, has graduated from the mall, and is now returning, for her second year, at University.

Exit narrator.

Katherine
Susan, who else have you got comming to staff our information table this afternoon?

Susan
Well Mary Stewart should be here any time now. I was talking to her on the phone last night.

Katherine
Is Mary the one who always says “ASWS, As Shakespeare Would Say” and always has a funny quote from Shakespeare?

Susan
Ya. That’s the one.  I wish she had more quotes from femminist writers but she doesn’t seem to study all this too seriously.

Katherine
And do you remember last year?  Mary was always working on her “How to save the World” essay and she was always interviewing people on how to relieve world poverty.

Susan
Yes, I remember. And somehow she would get everybody to buy her a cup of coffee. I don’t think that girl ever bought her own coffee all year. Oh!  Here she comes now.

Mary (Entering stage front left, taking off her backback to stand behind the information table.) 
Hi Susan, Hi Katherine, how goes the battle?

Susan
O.K. ...  We have a new information brochure to hand out. Why don’t you go over it while you are here.

Mary
ASWS, As Shakespeare Would Say, to parapharase, “More important than my dukedom are my books and learning”.  So I will read this brochure with pleasure.

Susan
Where’s that from?

Mary
I think its from Prospero in “The Tempest”.

Katherine
Hey, Mary.  Remember last year you used to do a funny quote from Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew”?  I remember the speaker was my namesake, Katherine.  How does it go again?

Mary
Oh ya, that one...it’s funny... OK, it goes like this: at the end of the play, Katherine says to the other wives:

Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,
And  dart not scornful glances from those eyes,
To wound thy [husband], thy lord, thy king
It blocks thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds...

For thy husband cares for thee
and for thy maintenance commits his body To painful labour both by sea and land
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;

And so ladies, be not forward, peevish, sullen, sour
And not obedient to his honest will...
I am ashamed that [women] are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace
Or seek for rule, supremacy or sway
When they are bound to serve, love and obey

Why are our bodies soft, and weak and smooth
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts!

[Susan and Katherine laugh at the caricature of the obedient wife]

Mary
Ya, it’s funny... but it was meant to be.  Shakespeare wasn’t advocating the subservience of women.  He was just holding the mirror up to nature so to speak, showing that women have never been subservient!  In fact in his play Merchant of Venice, he gave the best part to Portia; she is really the lady with all the brains that saves the day.  And of course, in Shakespeare’s plays, a lot of men are really bad, just like in real life.

ASWS, As Shakespeare would say, “The purpose of playing, whose end, both at the first and now, was and is, to hold, as ‘twere, the mirror up to nature”.  (Hamlet, act 3, Sc. 1)

ASWS, As Shakespeare would say, “The play’s the thing, Wherein, I’ll catch the conscience of the king.” (Hamlet, act 3, Sc. 1)

[Mary, sits down with a tired expression]

Katherine, could you get me a cup of coffee and could I pay you for it later.  Until I get to the bank machine, I’m right out of cash.  

Susan
Here, Katherine, [giving her a five dollar bill], I’ll buy the coffee’s for all of us.  May as well get Mary’s year off to a good start.

Katherine
Sure. Two strongs, with one cream and one sugar?

Susan
Right.

Mary
Perfect


[Mary and Susan continue to talk (inaudibly) as the scene switches to the information table of the Campus Christian Association, stage center right.]

Thomas
So Paul, did you get anyone else to help with the information table this afternoon?

Paul
Ya, I was talking to Richard last night and he should be here any time now.

Jenny
Is Richard the guy who is always wearing a cowboy hat and is taking agriculture?

Linda
Ya that’s Richard.  I remember he has a lot of funny expressions.  Every time he has to go somewhere, he always says “boots and saddles everyone, let’s go”.  And he’s pretty good on the guitar.  He knows a lot of praise and worship songs, which is great for meetings, but he is really shy.

Paul
Here comes Richard now.

Richard [wearing cowboy hat]
Hi everybody.

Paul
Hi Richard.  Thanks for helping out at the information table.  Well did you finish going through the bookstore line for all your textbooks yet?

Richard
Ya, what a lineup!  And those textbooks.  Expensive or what? I felt like saying to the lady at the till “How about I trade you for one of my favorite cows back home for these here texts” but I did’nt think she would go for it.

Linda
So, Richard, can you come out for pizza with us latter on?

Richard
Sure, that sounds great. [Richard is looking around and stops when he sees Mary and the ladies at the Feminist Campus Association information table.]  I see we are not alone in evangelism today.  Has anyone talked yet to the pretty ladies at the Feminist Campus Association table?

[Paul and Linda and Thomas and Jenny, shake their heads no, in unison.]

[The scene changes to the Feminist Campus Association table, as Katherine brings the coffee to Mary and Susan.]

Mary [Receiving coffee.]
Thanks so much Katherine.

Katherine
Your welcome and here’s your change Susan.

Susan
Thanks.

Katherine
So Mary, who are you going to interview this year for your “How to Save the World” essay?

Mary
Well, let me see... That guy in the cowboy hat over there looks like a likely candidate.

Katherine
Oh ya, he’s kinda cute.

Susan
Oh Mary, you don’t want to interview him.  He’s with the Campus Christian Association. 

Mary
Well Susan, my mom always told me that “All groups have some good ideas”.

Susan
Not the Christians Mary.  They don’t have any good ideas.

Katherine
Isn't the problem with all religions that they don’t trust science but instead they want to believe in miracles and myths.  And the fundamentalists are nine-eleven scary and are always fighting like in Northern Ireland and the Middle East. 

Mary
But then, haven't you noticed that even the great band U2, that does so much for peace in Northern Ireland and African relief, has some Christian elements in their songs.  And if the world had more medical missionaries like Mother Terresa, who never ever hurt anyone,  the world would be a better place. But I know what you mean Katherine.  How do Christians explain things like “the Spanish Inquisition and the persecution of Galileo”?

Katherine
Well, it is true that medical missionaries like Mother Teressa have done a lot of good.  It’s just hard to reconcile the fighting with the good causes.  It’s hard to understand, what’s going on.

Mary 
Well that’s what great reporters do.  They ask questions.  All groups have some good ideas and so I just want to hear them.  And then put them together to formulate in my own mind, and for my own conscience, a plan to help the starving and the desperate.

Katherine
Mary, you’re really serious about this “How to save the World” essay, aren't you?

Mary
Yes

Susan
Mary, don’t you know that Christians are still in the dark ages.  They still believe that God made the world only six thousand years ago and then popped Eve out of Adam’s rid.

Mary
Well Susan, I think amongst Christians there is quite a range of views.

Susan
Ya I know, going from weird to weirdest!

Mary
Oh Susan its not that bad.  I bet you if I interviewed that cowboy over there he would have some good ideas.  And besides, Katherine’s right, he is cute.

Susan
Mary, you’re hopeless.

Katherine
Hey Susan, you may get your chance after all. Look, he’s coming over here!

Richard
Howdy ladies.  My names Richard.  In the interests of mutual edification, we would like to exchange information brochures with you.  And invite you to any of our Christian Campus Association meetings.  Besides we often go out for pizza and its a lot of fun.

Mary
Well, Richard, my name is Mary, [taking Richard’s brochure and giving him one of the feminist brochures] and with an offer like that, how can I refuse.  And Richard, could I interview you in about an hour?  Say meet you in CAB Cafeteria for coffee.  I want to ask you about your views, as a Christian, on how to relieve world poverty.  I really want to hear Christian views on “How to Save the World” type questions.

Richard
Well sure Mary!  Boots and saddles, I’ll meet you there at 4:00 o’clock.  This is great.  Actually, my friends didn't think I would get a very good reception. See you.

Mary
Ya, see you later.

[The scene follows Richard back to the information table of the Campus Christian Association, while Mary and her friends keep talking silently.]

Richard
Hey guys, boots and saddles, she wants to interview me in an hour.  And get this, she wants to ask me about a Christian’s views on “How to Save the World” type questions...  Hey I can’t do this!  Ninety percent of my theology is from Bible verses in kids songs.  And I don’t want to let her down.  And so I am really going to need everyone to help me...  And I’ve got it.  Hey Thomas, remember that secret walkie talkie magic trick set you had, with the salt shaker mics and the ear phones.  You know, the ones you used for a joke at a party last year?

Thomas
Ya, I’ve got them in my room on residence.

Richard
OK. Here’s the plan. Bring the walkie talkies to CAB cafeteria for quarter to four and we will all meet you there.  I’ll set up alone at one table and we will get you and the others set up at a table far enough away so she can’t here you guys giving me the answers to her questions.

Paul
Richard, do you really think this is a good idea?

Richard
Oh sure. It’s just some old fashioned fun.  And besides, I’ll invite her out for pizza with you guys later.  And if she really wants to discuss issues from a Christian perspective, she will want to meet you guys and gals anyway.  I feel better already.

Curtain


How to Save the World

Act 2, Scene 2

The Setting
Two big round cafeteria tables are set up.  Richard (with an earphone in his ear) is sitting at the table stage right, with a tall salt shaker (mic) in the middle.  Paul, Linda, Jenny and Thomas (with an earphone in his ear) are set up at the other table stage left (with a salt shaker (mic) in the middle). 

[Enter Mary front stage right and seeing Richard, comes over to his table, 
slowly, seeing what appears to be strange behavior.]

Richard
[to the salt shaker]
Testing one two three four...

Thomas  [Audibly to the audience, but not to Mary]
Yes we can hear you.

Jenny  [Audibly to the audience, but not to Mary]
What did he say?

Thomas
He said “Testing one two three, four...”

Richard
Good, you can hear me.

Mary  [Setting down her backpack on the table]
Hello Richard, Yes, I can hear you, but I haven't  said anything yet?

Richard [With a big good natured smile]
Oh Mary! Hi. You surprised me...  Can I get you a coffee?

Mary
Sure. Thanks. ... a strong with one cream and one sugar please.

Richard
OK, be right back.

Mary [To the audience]
Maybe this guy is a little weird.

Richard [Returning with two coffees]
Hi Mary, have a coffee.

Mary
Thanks Richard.  Thanks for the interview.  Well, let me get out my notebook here and ask you a few questions about Christianity and world poverty, that sort of thing.

But you know Richard, I’m sort of curious... as a Christian, does God talk to you?

Richard
[To the salt shaker] I think I can handle this one.

[To Mary], Well no Mary. God doesn’t talk to me directly.  But he did write me a letter.

Mary [Looking surprised and taken aback]

Richard
All I mean Mary, is that the Bible is a letter written by God to everyone.

Mary
Well how do you know the Bible is true?

Richard
[To the salt shaker] [as if repeating the question to himself.] How do I know the Bible is true?

Thomas [Repeats question loudly for the rest of the table..]
How do I know that the Bible is true?

Paul
[Leaning towards the salt shaker (mic) in the middle of his table...]
Because history corroborates the Bible as true.]

Richard
Because history corroborates the Bible as true.

Mary
Well OK, perhaps I could ask you more about that another time.  Do Christians count on help from miracles all the time?

Richard 
[Smiling and moving away from Mary to the other side of the salt shaker, ... Mary could you say that
 a little bit louder?

Mary
[looking perplexed] [louder] Do Christians count on help from miracles all the time?

Richard
[Holding his ear to hear the ear-headphone better. There is some activity and silent talking into the salt shaker (mic) of the other table.]
Richard [as if repeating slowly]
Well no, God’s direct interventions in history are rare and our most obvious help on earth comes from the good things we are taught in the Bible.]

Mary
What do Christians propose to relieve world poverty and over population?

[There is more activity at the other table and finally Richard repeats slowly...]

Richard
It turns out that the spike in world population was the result of improved hygiene and medical care resulting in a few more overlapping generations than usual.  World population is now leveling off and in some countries the population is declining precipitously because of a birth dearth and the forced abortion in China, resulting in a terrible imbalance of boys outnumbering girls.  Surely, even from a Feminist perspective, you must agree that the elective abortion of girls is wrong?

Mary
Oh Richard, this is terrible, I've never thought of that! I'll research that some more.  But what do you think can be done to reduce  world poverty?

Richard
On a comparative economic basis world wide, it is family values and independence, and not family size and government ownership, that has produced prosperity.

Mary
I don’t get it. What does that mean?

Richard
I don’t know... er I mean let me explain... [Holding his earphone more tightly.]  The populations of many countries in the world are declining.  The efforts to control the world’s population growth are moot and a blind alley.  Better to support family values, independence, the family farm and freedom.

Mary
OK what do you think of home schooling, I heard some countries have made it illegal?

Richard
The Minister of Education should not be expected to be responsible for the education of all the students in his jurisdiction; rather the Minister of Education should expect that parents will choose the best education they can for their children and that in the long run, this decentralized decision making, will produce the best results. Besides, some children have special needs that can best be met at home.  Besides, freedom of the church within the state means parents have the right and responsibility to choose the education for their children, with the public system being one option among many.

Mary [Writing down some notes.]
OK. On another subject... Do Christians really believe that nothing is older than 6,000 years?

Richard [Pretending to be pausing to think...]

Many people have become Christians after an intense study of history and finding that history corroborates the Bible as true.  Even secular historians concede that written records on planet earth go back no more than 10,000 years.  And so it is agreed that people like us, who write songs and poetry and leave written records, have only been on earth, no more than 10,000 years.

Mary
Well what about all the other hundreds and hundreds of thousands of years?  

Richard, pretending to think, answers

Good question?

Richard, after listening to Thomas the science guy's animated account over the microphone, adds...

For most Christians, more important than the timeline is the evidence for intelligent design, especially now with new evidence relating biology and computer programming, it is clear, that the most rational observation is, that the coordinated complexity of life, is probably the result of an intelligent design. 

Intelligent design theory is based on quantifying the level of coordinated complexity of any system to determine markers for design as well as the explosion in our understanding in the last few years of the genetic code as a vast program, similar in construction to a style of computer programming we use ourselves, object oriented programming, where the key feature is that a gene in biology is similar in function to a code object in computer programming.  As with any good scientific theory, the theory has great predictive value.  It predicts that a gene should be able to be used over and over again, no only in the same cell but in different types of cells as well, just like a code object is designed to be used over an over again not only in the same app but in different types of apps as well.  And this prediction does turn out to be true. You can take the gene that codes for insulin out of human pancreatic cells and insert it into bacteria and the bacteria will produce insulin.  The theory also predicts successfully and explains that the genome between species should be very similar just like there is a great similarity of program code between computer apps because the apps contain many of the same code objects to handle the routine tasks of any program. And the theory also predicts that random chance mutation or genetic copying errors will be harmful to any species just like copying errors in a computer program will cause a malfunction in the program.  And we see this is true where a genetic disease destroys the optimum function of the cells involved.  And this is where intelligent design theory differs from Darwin, who thaught at least a small percent of random chance mutations would be beneficial.  Well Darwin was wrong, because every random chance mutation is deleterious, although some deleterious mutations can be beneficial For example, the mutation that caused cycle cell anemia causes the hemoglobin in the red blood cells to congeal somewhat reducing the ability of the cell to carry oxygen, hence the anemia. However, this deleterious mutation is also beneficial because it protects people with it from malaria: the malaria can no longer reproduce inside red blood cells with congealed hemoglobin.  Similarly, when a deleterious mutation weakens the cell wall of a bacteria a particular antibiotic may no longer be able to attach to the adjusted shape of the bacteria cell wall;  being another example of a deleterious mutation causing some benefit. And this confuses evolutionists no end because they think they have found an example of evolution, or at least a beneficial mutation, when they haven't.  

Mary
Wow Richard, for someone in Agriculture, you sure are passionate about the relationship between biology and computer programming.

Richard
Ya, just a little side interest I have.

Mary
Well I was going to take some notes but you spoke so quickly.  Maybe I'll just wright this down (Mary repeats slowly as she writes...] 
"The most rational observation is, that the coordinated complexity of life, is probably the result of an intelligent design."   ... Et cetera!
  
[Mary sits back and thinks a bit and then asks seriously...]  Are Christians against a woman’s right to choose when it comes to the issue of abortion?

[Richard looks sad and sort of has a groaning expression, as if he doesn't even want to think about the issue.  There is a pause as everybody at the other table is thinking and then Jenny (the medical student) leans toward the salt shaker (mic) and  says slowly (audibly to the audience but not to Mary)...]

Jenny
Christians want to promote pro-life as the happiest way of life.

Richard [repeats]
Christians want to promote pro-life as the happiest way of life. Christians would like the government to match funding to Crises Pregnancy Centers to help women in distress.  In 1833, the Government of England, led by William Wilberforce, paid the sum of 22,000,000 Pounds Sterling to buy the freedom of the slaves.  Will the Canadian government be willing to spend the equivalent of  22,000,000 Pounds Sterling to buy our freedom from the temptation of elective abortion?

Mary [smiles and nods as if she likes the answer] [Reaching over to grab the salt shaker]
OK.  Hey, why don’t I move this salt shaker to another table?

Richard
Oh no!, ... er I like salt shakers..., could I have it back?
[Mary (shrugging and smiling and giving Richard back the salt shaker)  Richard (laughing) holds the salt shaker and looks at it and puts it away inside his back pack on the floor.]  OK, I’ve had enough fun now... Mary, I have a confession to make.  Most of my theology comes from the Bible verses from kid’s songs.  And I really have no idea how to answer “How to Save the World” type questions.  But I know your questions are serious and that’s why I really wanted to get you the best answers I could. And I really wanted you to meet my friends at the Christian Campus Association, who are from all different faculties.  Mary, no one group has all the answers.  But I know with the help of the good things we are taught in the Bible, together we can work out a consensus.   And so, in the spirit of some good natured fun, I got my friends at the Christian Campus Association to help me out with your questions.  You see there was a microphone in the salt shaker and my friends are over there giving me the answers in this ear plug.  And I’m really hoping you will come out for pizza with us now so you can meet them and just talk some more?

Mary
Oh there was a microphone in the salt shaker and your friends are just over there.... oh that’s funny Richard and I get it,  actually it’s quite a relief... I thought you were just acting weird ... sure I’ll go out for pizza with you... why don’t you invite your friends over here now so I can meet them?

Richard [very happy, stands up and yells to the other table]

Hey everybody, come over here.  [Paul, Linda, Thomas and Jenny pack up there things and come over to meet Mary.] It’s OK, I told Mary all about the salt shaker and she says she will come out for pizza with us now.

Linda (shaking hands with Mary)
Hi Mary, nice to meet you, I’m Linda and this is my fiancé Paul.

Jenny
Hi Mary, I’m Jenny and this is Thomas, our science guy.

Richard [putting on his cowboy hat]
Well, boots and saddles everyone, let’s go out for pizza.

Curtain.